What's your go-to small talk topic, and what is your least favorite?
Focus 3 | Conversation, Not Conversion
Your job is not to change people but to love them through care-filled conversations, trusting God to handle the growth and transformation.
Let's talk about talking.
Those familiar with Spotlights know that, usually, there is an audio or video clip here that introduces the main idea. This Spotlight is different, because it really is meant to focus on good conversation. You'll get the chance to define "good" conversation later, but for now, chat about this:
What made one of the most memorable conversations you've ever had so memorable?
If you're willing, share with those with whom you're Spotlighting the story of an important conversation from your past. Try to identify what made the conversation so significant to you beyond the content of the conversation.
(And welcome, by the way! It’s great that you’re here!)
After you’ve shared, take a moment to reflect and consider these questions:
Those familiar with Spotlights know that, usually, there is an audio or video clip here that introduces the main idea. This Spotlight is different, because it really is meant to focus on good conversation. You'll get the chance to define "good" conversation later, but for now, chat about this:
What made one of the most memorable conversations you've ever had so memorable?
If you're willing, share with those with whom you're Spotlighting the story of an important conversation from your past. Try to identify what made the conversation so significant to you beyond the content of the conversation.
(And welcome, by the way! It’s great that you’re here!)
After you’ve shared, take a moment to reflect and consider these questions:
- Were there any common threads that connected the examples shared?
- Did certain elements or characteristics tend to show up in conversations that made them particularly memorable or impactful?
See what this Spotlight—and series— is focused on.
Tap on the words "Focus 3" in the image below to read this Spotlight's summary.
Tap on the words "Focus 3" in the image below to read this Spotlight's summary.
Let's start a conversation with God by listening.
Why? Because conversation involves speaking and listening.
Spend a few minutes listening to God’s words in Isaiah 65. In this chapter, God has a lot to say, but don't worry about totally understanding all of it. Instead, as you meditate on it, consider your response to his words, as you would when having a conversation with someone. It may be helpful to have the chapter open in front of you.
Why? Because conversation involves speaking and listening.
Spend a few minutes listening to God’s words in Isaiah 65. In this chapter, God has a lot to say, but don't worry about totally understanding all of it. Instead, as you meditate on it, consider your response to his words, as you would when having a conversation with someone. It may be helpful to have the chapter open in front of you.
“I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me;
I was found by those who did not seek me.
To a nation that did not call on my name, I said, ‘Here am I, here am I.’
All day long I have held out my hands to an obstinate people,
who walk in ways not good, pursuing their own imaginations—
a people who continually provoke me to my very face,
offering sacrifices in gardens and burning incense on altars of brick;
who sit among the graves and spend their nights keeping secret vigil;
who eat the flesh of pigs, and whose pots hold broth of impure meat;
who say, ‘Keep away; don’t come near me, for I am too sacred for you!’
Such people are smoke in my nostrils, a fire that keeps burning all day.
“See, it stands written before me:
I will not keep silent but will pay back in full;
I will pay it back into their laps—
both your sins and the sins of your ancestors,” says the Lord.
“Because they burned sacrifices on the mountains and defied me on the hills,
I will measure into their laps the full payment for their former deeds.”
This is what the Lord says: “As when juice is still found in a cluster of grapes
and people say, ‘Don’t destroy it, there is still a blessing in it,’
so will I do in behalf of my servants;
I will not destroy them all.
I will bring forth descendants from Jacob,
and from Judah those who will possess my mountains;
my chosen people will inherit them, and there will my servants live.
Sharon will become a pasture for flocks,
and the Valley of Achor a resting place for herds,
for my people who seek me.
“But as for you who forsake the Lord and forget my holy mountain,
who spread a table for Fortune and fill bowls of mixed wine for Destiny,
I will destine you for the sword, and all of you will fall in the slaughter;
for I called but you did not answer,
I spoke but you did not listen.
You did evil in my sight and chose what displeases me.”
Therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says:
“My servants will eat, but you will go hungry;
my servants will drink, but you will go thirsty;
my servants will rejoice, but you will be put to shame.
My servants will sing out of the joy of their hearts,
but you will cry out from anguish of heart and wail in brokenness of spirit.
You will leave your name for my chosen ones to use in their curses;
the Sovereign Lord will put you to death,
but to his servants he will give another name.
Whoever invokes a blessing in the land will do so by the one true God;
whoever takes an oath in the land will swear by the one true God.
For the past troubles will be forgotten and hidden from my eyes.
“See, I will create new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind.
But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create,
for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy.
I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people;
the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.
“Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days,
or an old man who does not live out his years;
the one who dies at a hundred will be thought a mere child;
the one who fails to reach a hundred will be considered accursed.
They will build houses and dwell in them;
they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
No longer will they build houses and others live in them, or plant and others eat.
For as the days of a tree, so will be the days of my people;
my chosen ones will long enjoy the work of their hands.
They will not labor in vain, nor will they bear children doomed to misfortune;
for they will be a people blessed by the Lord, they and their descendants with them.
Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.
The wolf and the lamb will feed together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox,
and dust will be the serpent’s food.
They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,” says the Lord.
Isaiah 65
I was found by those who did not seek me.
To a nation that did not call on my name, I said, ‘Here am I, here am I.’
All day long I have held out my hands to an obstinate people,
who walk in ways not good, pursuing their own imaginations—
a people who continually provoke me to my very face,
offering sacrifices in gardens and burning incense on altars of brick;
who sit among the graves and spend their nights keeping secret vigil;
who eat the flesh of pigs, and whose pots hold broth of impure meat;
who say, ‘Keep away; don’t come near me, for I am too sacred for you!’
Such people are smoke in my nostrils, a fire that keeps burning all day.
“See, it stands written before me:
I will not keep silent but will pay back in full;
I will pay it back into their laps—
both your sins and the sins of your ancestors,” says the Lord.
“Because they burned sacrifices on the mountains and defied me on the hills,
I will measure into their laps the full payment for their former deeds.”
This is what the Lord says: “As when juice is still found in a cluster of grapes
and people say, ‘Don’t destroy it, there is still a blessing in it,’
so will I do in behalf of my servants;
I will not destroy them all.
I will bring forth descendants from Jacob,
and from Judah those who will possess my mountains;
my chosen people will inherit them, and there will my servants live.
Sharon will become a pasture for flocks,
and the Valley of Achor a resting place for herds,
for my people who seek me.
“But as for you who forsake the Lord and forget my holy mountain,
who spread a table for Fortune and fill bowls of mixed wine for Destiny,
I will destine you for the sword, and all of you will fall in the slaughter;
for I called but you did not answer,
I spoke but you did not listen.
You did evil in my sight and chose what displeases me.”
Therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says:
“My servants will eat, but you will go hungry;
my servants will drink, but you will go thirsty;
my servants will rejoice, but you will be put to shame.
My servants will sing out of the joy of their hearts,
but you will cry out from anguish of heart and wail in brokenness of spirit.
You will leave your name for my chosen ones to use in their curses;
the Sovereign Lord will put you to death,
but to his servants he will give another name.
Whoever invokes a blessing in the land will do so by the one true God;
whoever takes an oath in the land will swear by the one true God.
For the past troubles will be forgotten and hidden from my eyes.
“See, I will create new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind.
But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create,
for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight and its people a joy.
I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people;
the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.
“Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days,
or an old man who does not live out his years;
the one who dies at a hundred will be thought a mere child;
the one who fails to reach a hundred will be considered accursed.
They will build houses and dwell in them;
they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
No longer will they build houses and others live in them, or plant and others eat.
For as the days of a tree, so will be the days of my people;
my chosen ones will long enjoy the work of their hands.
They will not labor in vain, nor will they bear children doomed to misfortune;
for they will be a people blessed by the Lord, they and their descendants with them.
Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.
The wolf and the lamb will feed together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox,
and dust will be the serpent’s food.
They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,” says the Lord.
Isaiah 65
Now, spend five minutes speaking to God about it, still looking at Isaiah 65.
Skip the parts you don't understand—this isn't time to "study," per se—and focus on what the chapter made you feel, responding just like you would in a conversation.
Remember, it's OK to:
This is a safe conversation. There is nothing at all that you could say that would change God's love for you. He promises you this:
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:31–39
Feel free to play this audio as background as you silently pray your response to this chapter.
Skip the parts you don't understand—this isn't time to "study," per se—and focus on what the chapter made you feel, responding just like you would in a conversation.
Remember, it's OK to:
- thank him.
- challenge him.
- question him.
- honor him.
- agree with him.
- wonder about him.
- doubt him.
- believe him.
This is a safe conversation. There is nothing at all that you could say that would change God's love for you. He promises you this:
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:31–39
Feel free to play this audio as background as you silently pray your response to this chapter.
Discussion Guide: Characteristics of Safe and Genuine Conversations
What Makes Conversations Safe and Genuine?
What Makes Conversations Unsafe or Avoidant?
Pick and Discuss: Choose one positive or negative from the lists above that resonates with your experiences. Discuss with your group or partner:
Be prepared to share one insight from your discussion with the larger group.
——
Safe and genuine conversations aren’t about being perfect—they’re about being present, grace-filled, and focused on connection. Small changes, like asking more questions or avoiding correction, can make a big difference.
What Makes Conversations Safe and Genuine?
- Listening Actively: Focusing on what the other person is saying without interrupting or planning your response.
- Showing Grace: Offering kindness, patience, and understanding, even when you disagree.
- Asking Questions: Engaging with curiosity instead of making assumptions.
- Staying Humble: Acknowledging you don’t have all the answers and are willing to learn.
- Being Present: Giving the conversation your full attention without distractions.
What Makes Conversations Unsafe or Avoidant?
- Jumping to Correction: Trying to “fix” someone’s thoughts or behaviors rather than hearing them out.
- Deflecting Discomfort: Changing the subject or avoiding hard topics.
- Arguing to Win: Prioritizing being right over building a connection.
- Making Assumptions: Deciding what someone means or believes without asking.
- Being Distracted: Not giving the conversation your full focus.
Pick and Discuss: Choose one positive or negative from the lists above that resonates with your experiences. Discuss with your group or partner:
- Why does this characteristic stand out to you?
- How could practicing or avoiding it change the way you engage in conversations?
Be prepared to share one insight from your discussion with the larger group.
——
Safe and genuine conversations aren’t about being perfect—they’re about being present, grace-filled, and focused on connection. Small changes, like asking more questions or avoiding correction, can make a big difference.
Feel free to submit a prayer request by filling out the below form.
(If you choose to make your request public, you'll see it display in the Current at the end of the Spotlight along with anyone else who did the same.)
(If you choose to make your request public, you'll see it display in the Current at the end of the Spotlight along with anyone else who did the same.)
Imagine they're your family.
The song "Brother" by The Brilliance is a powerful example of two things:
If you see people as your family, you can see the gap between where your relationship with them is at the moment and where it could be if you were able to get to that place where they feel like family.
This is exactly why God uses the metaphor of Father and Christ became your Brother!
Now, listen to the song and imagine…
The song "Brother" by The Brilliance is a powerful example of two things:
- The effectiveness of repetition in helping you truly understand a thing.
- What it means to dream of conversational relationship with people.
If you see people as your family, you can see the gap between where your relationship with them is at the moment and where it could be if you were able to get to that place where they feel like family.
This is exactly why God uses the metaphor of Father and Christ became your Brother!
Now, listen to the song and imagine…
Let's wrap things up by taking a look at what's Current at Illume.
Tap on the buttons in the frame below to see what’s currently happening at Illume—information on everything from current and upcoming online content to live events and opportunities to serve in the community can all be found here.
Tap on the buttons in the frame below to see what’s currently happening at Illume—information on everything from current and upcoming online content to live events and opportunities to serve in the community can all be found here.
Posted in Illume in a Certain Light
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